Might not ride for a while

[CDNRatMan]

         Do we have an update anytime soon, have you  been back to get it checked out, have you got your hand working right    now?

[greenbarn]

Like I've said before, and I'll likely say again, 'NEVER PUT YOUR FINGER WHERE YOU WOULDN'T PUT YOUR WEENIE, AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A SORE FINGER'.....

Seriously, hope it heals well with no infection.
Reo

Words to live by... 

[49Reo]

Like I've said before, and I'll likely say again, 'NEVER PUT YOUR FINGER WHERE YOU WOULDN'T PUT YOUR WEENIE, AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE A SORE FINGER'.....

Seriously, hope it heals well with no infection.
Reo

[CDNRatMan]

   Well I noticed a couple of things common here in your story Mr. DC, seems there is three very common factors, so perhaps if you just eliminate one of the factors then you should be safe and no more injuries.
you need to eliminate one of the following....
sharp implements of destruction,
alcohol,
Mr Dc himself.........

so pick one item to eliminate.

[DC]

I'd like to see a story like this once in a while, but I'd hate to see you keep having to cut off extremities to do so!!

Get healed up soon, so you don't miss all the fall riding...

I like jotting down my thoughts and observations on life every once in a while.  Let's hope the next time I do it doesn't involved pain, blood, and personal injury.   

I already missed two really good rides from this injury.  Last Sunday while at ther ER, I missed a fallen officer charity ride.  Today I missed The Distinguished Gentlemens Ride.  Royally disappointed!       I guess for safety sake, I just have to wait.   

[DC]

Left handed people do it right...............

 

[greenbarn]

I'd like to see a story like this once in a while, but I'd hate to see you keep having to cut off extremities to do so!!

Get healed up soon, so you don't miss all the fall riding...

[Trall]

OUCH AND Hilarious write up.  Hope you heal up soon. 

[CDNRatMan]

      Left handed people do it right...............

[DC]

DC, my main man!  Welcome to the bandage club!  Between you and me, we've got half the extremities covered!  You've got what appears to be a left hand all bandaged up, and I've got a bandaged left leg.

Shoot, you might say that between us, we're "all right"!  (Sorry.....bad pun)

Yes, we both have some healing to do.  Being left handed, it's been a challenge learning how to do everything right handed, and also doing things with one hand that normally take two.  I learned tonight that it takes two hands to clap.         By the time I get this right hand thing down, the left should be coming back online.  Hopefully, you'll be on the mend soon too, my friend.

[pcarrell]

DC, my main man!  Welcome to the bandage club!  Between you and me, we've got half the extremities covered!  You've got what appears to be a left hand all bandaged up, and I've got a bandaged left leg.

Shoot, you might say that between us, we're "all right"!  (Sorry.....bad pun)

[DC]

Well, that would have been next but they fired the pickle slicer.

I'm not touching that with a 10 foot pole.   

[CDNRatMan]

    why fire the pickle slicer he did nothing to DC he cut his own finger...........

[Hoggy]

Better to get a finger stuck in there than something else.   

Well, that would have been next but they fired the pickle slicer.

[CDNRatMan]

 DC to protect yourself perhaps you should be come a regular with a local take out place and or the Swanson Family and get a life time deal on TV dinners. This way you get to keep all your digits and your blood inside yourself.

[DC]

Suggest you take a First Aid course.

You did almost everything wrong.

When you get cut - elevate. Do not hold limb down.
Do not increase heart rate by hoping up and down.
Alcohol thins the blood, increasing bleeding, not to mention clouds thinking.

Maybe a kitchen course too on how to cut vegetables without severely cutting yourself.  Oh by the way, we are not accepting any applications at my food truck. We have all the prep cooks and people we need right now and for the rest of the season 

'Hope you heal well and heal quickly!

I had a similar event happen about 20 years ago.  I was having some drinks whilst preparing food.  Again, chopping away, and . . . .  That time I didn't go to the hospital.  Being much younger and full of myself, I decided to give myself stitches.   But, in order to do that, I had to drink some more to handle the pain.  In the end, I did close it up.  Not pretty, but I got the job done.  That was easier to deal with, as there wasn't much blood, just a longer open wound.

This wound was more complicated, as it went through the nail and nail bed.  So I decided to defer to a pizza delivery guy that certainly knows more about medical procedures than I do.   

To your point, yes I should have held it up to slow the bleeding, but I was not thinking and I had to quickly apply direct pressure as it was going squirt. . squirt. . squirt.

The hopping helped me to deal with the pain.  Darn, I wished I would have made a vid of that.  Note to self:  Add more interior cameras to the video surveillance system.

Yes, maybe alcohol was not the best choice from a coagulation perspective, but it did help me to deal with the pain.

I decided I'm going to go in the full automation direction from now on, when it comes to chopping, slicing, and dicing.  What could possibly go wrong?        

[Zoar]

Okay, so Friday night I was chop chop chopping away at some cabbage, and then bored as I was, I thought "Why don't I try chopping part of my finger off to see what that's like?".  So having lots of rapid fire momentum, whittling this head of cabbage down, the winning blow came down right through the finger nail and through the meat underneath.  I never realized what a penchant I had for dancing/hopping on one foot whilst screaming and blurting out words in some strange new language I am not familiar with.  The blood was also spurting out in time to my hopping.  No one can accuse me of not having rhythm.  I held my hand firmly against my side to stop the bleeding, which took about 20 minutes.  My t-shirt was drenched, as were my shorts.

Then I finally got brave enough to deal with the wound.  So I washed it off in the bathroom.  My hand was covered in clotted blood and as I was washing it off, pieces of clot-encased cabbage were starting to appear in the sink.  I thought to myself that I may have stumbled upon a new product here.  After all, there are chocolate covered grasshoppers and the like.  Well, I dismissed that as I needed to keep my focus elsewhere.  So I got it lightly bandaged up.  There should be some sort of contest for those who can bandage a wound the quickest when there is no one around and you only have one usable hand.  One of the rules would be you can't have any unused pieces of tape stuck to where they shouldn't be.

You might ask at this point, am I heading out now for medical attention. Welllll, not exactly.   You see, there was no one else home, and in the state I was in (lost lots of blood and a questionable BAC), I probably should not be driving.  So I doubled down with some liquid medication.  I figured, I would give it a day and see what happens.  During that night, whilst sleeping, it bled on and off a little, just enough to make a mess.

The next day I went out with one of my friends.  He asked me what happened.  So he got the whole story.  Then he said Whatever you do don't show me that finger.  Well, that couldn't be helped, as I made one of my signature Elizabethan-collar bandages for it, and you could see right into it from the end.  He cursed me when he saw it, threatening to throw up on my shoes.  He insisted I go to the hospital and I refused.  We got into a big argument about it and both stormed away.  Then I was at a store later that day and a clerk had the same reaction.  Others were weighing in, but I thought that maybe time would heal it.

On Sunday morning, I decided to cave in and go to the hospital.  I dreaded the thought of going to the ER. . . . the long wait, the greasy paged, dog-eared magazines, as well as the normal sights and sounds you would expect.  I was lucky in that they took me pretty quickly back into the triage area.  This hospital was pretty close by, but was not the best, as it was about 3 stars out of 5.  Good enough to go to for the kind of injury I had.  But I would not go there for a colonoscopy, as you might come out with a sex change operation.  As they say, accidents will happen.

They had some difficulty in initially assessing it, as the entire end of the digit was encased in a multilayered series of clots.  So they first soaked the finger in a sterile solution.  That helped to break up the clot sculpture a bit, but they needed to take stronger measures, as this was only having limited results.  After all, this is about two days old at this point.  So out came a fresh bottle of hydrogen pyroxide.  I knew it was unused, as the nurse removed the security ring from the top, before twisting the cap off and piercing the protective covering underneath with her thumb nail. . . which went into the bottle.  She dried off her thumb, but I still got to enjoy whatever was growing underneath her thumb nail, as she poured the HP over the wound.

During all this, some young guy pokes his head in the triage room I was in while the nurse was attending to the wound.  He said to her "Hey!  How's it goin?".  I'm looking at his guy in his hoody and sneakers and wondering how the pizza delivery guys knows the nurse in here.  I figured maybe people order pizzas while they're sitting in the waiting room for hours, and he got to know her from making so many deliveries there.. . . She finishes up some of the prep procedures, then says the attending physician will be in to see me shortly.  About 5 minutes later, the pizza guy comes in and starts asking me about my injury and why I was there.  I thought that odd why they let the delivery guy roam around in the ER triage area bothering patients.  Then his questions got more probing and technical.  Wow, that was amazing for a pizza delivery guy.  Then I saw he had an ID badge hanging around his neck.  He definitely was not a Papa John's, Little Ceasar, or Pizza Hut employee.  He saw me looking at the badge and said "Oh, I'm Dr. so-and-so".      

So the doc was in and out of the room a few times, while the clot sculpture was continuing to dissolve in the HP bath.  Each time he returned, I was hopeful he would bring a pizza with him.  If he did, he ate it himself in the hallway. . .  You may end up with a lot of things at this hospital, but it will not be pizza.   . . . With the surface of the injury cleaned enough to see what's going on, the doc begins to assess it.  "Well, it looks like you lost part of the nail, but it's not too bad".  Not too bad?  I guess he meant you probably won't lose the finger or even the end, and there's a good chance the nail will grow back.  He said "I took off part of the nail while I was cleaning it.  Wanna see it now?".   NO!  How about you look at it for me and just tell me about it.  I'm not looking at that.  He said "You don't want to look at it?."  NO!   

So then he bandaged it up like you see in the pics.  I think he did a pretty good job.  I complimented him on the excellent visual presentation of the dressing.  Not bad for a pizza delivery guy. . . . .He said he would give me a splint for the finger to stabilize it and protect it.  But he said the dressing was too large to accommodate the splint.  He said, as I graduate to a smaller dressing later in the week, then I could apply the splint.. . . A few minutes later another staff member comes in with the splint.  She says "I'm here to put your splint on".  I told her the doc doesn't want it on now, he's just sending it home with me to use later on.  She left, consulted with the doc, came back and said "Here, you can take this home". . . . Remember, colonoscopy vs. sex change operation. . . . With that, I was finished and only had to sit there, rotting away for another half hour, when they lost the paperwork to check me out.    . . . Remember, colonoscopy vs. . . . . Well, never mind.

Suggest you take a First Aid course.

You did almost everything wrong.

When you get cut - elevate. Do not hold limb down.
Do not increase heart rate by hoping up and down.
Alcohol thins the blood, increasing bleeding, not to mention clouds thinking.

Maybe a kitchen course too on how to cut vegetables without severely cutting yourself.  Oh by the way, we are not accepting any applications at my food truck. We have all the prep cooks and people we need right now and for the rest of the season

'Hope you heal well and heal quickly!

[DC]

what could be worse then a pickle slicer...........

It's not the device I was referring to, but what gazinta the device.

[CDNRatMan]

 what could be worse then a pickle slicer...........

[DC]

There IS the story about the guy who got his finger stuck in the pickle slicer.......buy you probably wouldn't appreciate it right now.

I hope you aren't in too much pain with it at this point.

Better to get a finger stuck in there than something else.   

[Hoggy]

There IS the story about the guy who got his finger stuck in the pickle slicer.......buy you probably wouldn't appreciate it right now.

I hope you aren't in too much pain with it at this point.

[CDNRatMan]

   Ok I am not a medical person and have no medical training so you need to explain this part to me.....

I needed a tetanus shot and I'm still dealing with the side effects from it.  My hair is suddenly growing longer, my chest is swelling up, and for some reason I have a desire to go shopping for really high-heeled, red pumps.   

did you get a tetanus shot or a testosterone shot?........thought the reason you were not riding was the pain in the finger tip, it is a clutch hand so you seldom use it, and the clutch is not that hard to pull it only needs one finger.......

[DC]

Yeah, nice story...
But I wonder how many time did it get to write it, by using just one hand only?

Believe me, it took a really, really long time.

[DC]

Ha!
Great write up to give us a laugh.   

[DC]

ok  a few questions......and observations:

1. why were you using an instrument of MD (mass destruction) thought you were not allowed to play with sharp toys.

Well, as of now, I'm officially not allowed to handle knives for an indefinite period of time.  I had to go to the store yesterday to buy some pre-sliced cheese since I can't, and am not allowed to, use a knife.

2. why were you even in the kitchen, of having 3 or is it 4 wives surly one of them is a better cook then you.

The wives had already left to go away for bug-out / survivalist training.  So it was up to me to hold down the fort.

3. now you know why people tell you to have a sharp knife rather then a dull one.

After this, I prefer the latter.  I have a great, motorized knife sharpener and had just used it last month.   

4. to stubborn to go for proper medical help right. Oh you have to pay for it.

A bit of both.  Being the chicken that I am, I did not want to deal with the injury.  I tried to drink it away.  It didn't work.

On point two, I can't afford to pay for medical coverage under the so-called affordable government health plan scheme.  So I have to pay all my medical expenses out of pocket, thanks to. . . well, never mind..

5. liquid medication, milk is not that for sure, now a couple shots of Crown Royal might count.

I was making some vodka mixers.  They really are very good, but they do not make injuries go away, for some reason.   

6. At your age the Dr's all seem to be young lads now.

This guy did not even look like a later-career, senior pizza delivery guy (25 years old).  I would peg him at most 21, but it's all about point of reference.

7. Your buddy should have spewed in your shoes just because.

He still might, when I decide to do the unveiling in the weeks to come.

I just did a changing of the dressing last night.  It's a multi-layered Broadway production.  It's actually more than the wound really needs... .  at least that's my opinion.

Here's the update I emailed my wives:

I changed the dressing last night.  Very hard to do one-handed.  I had mixed thoughts about what the injury looked like.  On one hand, it's not as badly chopped through as I thought.  On the other hand, it IS gross.  This is going to take a long time to heal and grow back.  The problem came with trying to take the old medicated pad off the injury.  Apparently the cloth had grown into the wound.  So I tried soaking the whole thing in peroxide.  I did this for about a half hour/45 to loosen it up.  Gradually, more and more came loose, but I had to keep tearing at it, little by little.  Finally, I realized this was not going to come off by being nice to it.  I had to bite the bullet and tear it out of the wound.  RIP!  Man that hurt so bad.  I was afraid it was going to start bleeding again, but it didn't.

Then I start to build the dressing.  First, I gave it another final cleaning with HP. . . like it needed any more after all that soaking.  It was really burning by now.  Then I applied the ointment they gave me.  It was a gel.  Then I put on the yellow medicated pad.  This was the thing that had grown into the wound area.  Then I started building up the rest of the dressing.

I put on a whole new dressing like the pizza guy did.  Very large for the size of the wound.  It's just so cumbersome.  Very hard to take a shower with it.  I put two plastic bags over my whole hand, and tie them off with 6 rubber bands on my wrist.  Water still gets in and makes a mess.  I will leave this on for 2 days.  Friday night, I'm going to graduate it to an Elizabethan collar dressing.  It should be good enough by then.

8. so what we now know is your heading for a sex change operation correct.

Well, if I went back to that place for a colonoscopy, I probably should request the sex change.  That way I would end up with the colonoscopy.  What troubles me is what you would get if you requested both.   

9. and pray tell why you can not ride?

Mostly out of concern for the safety of the general public.

I needed a tetanus shot and I'm still dealing with the side effects from it.  My hair is suddenly growing longer, my chest is swelling up, and for some reason I have a desire to go shopping for really high-heeled, red pumps.