Random Thoughts As We Age

[John Hopkins]

  ok which one do you think it should be.......

I think you should start at the first one and just keep going..

John.

[greenbarn]

  ok which one do you think it should be.......

I can think of several...

[CDNRatMan]

       ok which one do you think it should be.......

[greenbarn]

I can see a signature line change coming up for Ratman....

[CDNRatMan]

  oh some really good ones there and some I will need to use........

[DC]

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller?

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet...

I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks!

I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off!

Old age is coming at a really bad time!

When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment... now, as a grown up, it just feels like a small vacation!

The biggest lie I tell myself is... "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair. I have "wisdom highlights".

My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance to idiots that needs work.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

The kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please.  I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

I'm going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I'll do that second week.

Even duct tape can't fix stupid... but it can muffle the sound!

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just gonna transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

Oops! Did I roll my eyes out loud?

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Chocolate comes from cocoa which is a tree... that makes it a plant which means... chocolate is Salad.