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Posted by DC
- January 18, 2016, 09:33:21 AMGive a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
The real trouble with reality is that there's no background music.Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
You can't be late until you show up.
Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Books have knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay..so if you keep reading, you'll go broke.
Posted by 49Reo
- January 16, 2016, 12:37:49 PMQuote from: chief on January 10, 2016, 13:30:22 PM
Boy, that Chief is one fart smeller.....I mean one smart feller..... 
Posted by CDNRatMan
- January 15, 2016, 18:06:49 PMQuotepointing the TV remote at your spouse, and hitting the mute button does not stop the noise............Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.
why do people press harder on the buttons of the remote when they should just replace the batteries?
Posted by Hoggy
- January 15, 2016, 17:45:16 PMA journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a refrigerator repairman.
Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.
Posted by CDNRatMan
- January 13, 2016, 22:03:21 PMand I thought I was going to get some sleep soon.....man now to think these out......
Hope my hero Chief can answer a few of these for me......
Posted by greenbarn
- January 13, 2016, 20:39:04 PMSpeaking of pondering, I was sitting around tonight wondering a few things:
-If people from Poland are called 'Poles', why aren't people from Holland called 'Holes?'
-Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack, anyway?
-If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
-If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
-When someone asks you, 'A penny for your thoughts, 'and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
-When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
-Why are a wise man and wise guy opposites?
-If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
-Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?
-Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
-Why is lemon-aide made with artificial flavour, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
-Why don't we ever see this headline: Psychic Wins Lottery ?
-Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavour?
-Why isn't there mouse flavoured cat food?
-Who tastes dog food when it has a 'new & improved' flavour?
-Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
-Why do use a sterile needle for lethal injections?
-Why are they called apartments when they are all connected?
Posted by mittico68
- January 12, 2016, 11:25:36 AMQuote from: chief on January 11, 2016, 11:19:23 AMI looked the answers up on the internet.
Ingenious idea! 
Posted by chief
- January 11, 2016, 11:19:23 AMI looked the answers up on the internet.
Posted by DC
- January 10, 2016, 21:41:49 PMOf course!
Posted by pcarrell
- January 10, 2016, 20:30:00 PMChief is clearly a genius!
Posted by CDNRatMan
- January 10, 2016, 19:38:26 PMand that is why he is the Chief he is so smart........
Posted by greenbarn
- January 10, 2016, 19:22:21 PMWell, that all makes perfect sense.... 
Posted by chief
- January 10, 2016, 13:30:22 PMQuote from: CDNRatMan on January 09, 2016, 18:32:57 PMHow important does a person have to, before they are considered assassinated rather then just murdered? You have to be level 10 at least.
Once your in Heaven or the other place, are you stuck wearing the clothing you were buried in? In heaven you get a nice comfortable robe. In the other place you get a hospital gown with the back open.
Why does round pizza come in a square box? Because round boxes won't puncture the trash bag and there would be no place for the garlic butter.
What disease did the ham before it was cured? .Trigonometry
Why do doctors leave the room while you strip and they will see you naked in a moment when they return? So they can turn on the camera.
If corn oil comes from corn, vegetable oil comes from vegetables, were does baby oil come from? Ask your Dad.
Female Question.... Why is bra singular when you have 2 whohaws, and panties is plural when you only have one......? Anything above the equator is singular - shirt, bra, etc. Anything below is plural - pants, panties, etc.
Posted by CDNRatMan
- January 09, 2016, 18:32:57 PMHow important does a person have to, before they are considered assassinated rather then just murdered?
Once your in Heaven or the other place, are you stuck wearing the clothing you were buried in?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did the ham before it was cured?
Why do doctors leave the room while you strip and they will see you naked in a moment when they return?
If corn oil comes from corn, vegetable oil comes from vegetables, were does baby oil come from?
Female Question.... Why is bra singular when you have 2 whohaws, and panties is plural when you only have one......?