GUEST? Registration opens up many more resources which are not available to guests. Registration is free, we never sell or give others access to your information.
Posted by 49Reo
- October 05, 2015, 11:00:04 AMA Canadian joke.....
A little boy, standing in front of the family court judge, is asked: "do you want to live with your mother?"
Boy answered; "no"
"Why not?" asks the judge.
"Because she beats me," replied the little boy.
The judge asks, "okay, do you want to live with your father then?"
"No" says the boy.
"Why not?" Asks the judge
"Because he beats me," replied the boy.
The judge then asks, "then who do you want to live with?"
The boy replies...."I want to live with the Toronto Maple Leafs...'cause they don't beat anybody!"
Posted by pcarrell
- October 01, 2015, 14:30:03 PMI can post this because I'm blond.
Posted by DC
- September 22, 2015, 23:18:18 PMQuote from: chief on September 18, 2015, 17:17:27 PMYup, which is why I started posting in it again.I hope we will keep this joke post active forever. John started it, and it reminds me of him each time someone posts to it! Thanks!
Posted by Troll
- September 19, 2015, 20:50:47 PM 
Posted by CDNRatMan
- September 19, 2015, 16:36:42 PMThis was posted today on the UK forum and with all the traffic about John thought this would be a good one....lol.....
Tetley (this is a tea) got me into trouble:Freind said the best way to get a cup of tea was to agitate the bag.
So I slapped her arse and said 'Put kettle on'
Posted by Troll
- September 19, 2015, 12:26:09 PMSounds good to me....
Posted by CDNRatMan
- September 19, 2015, 10:50:22 AMOk so tonight in honour of Sir John Hopkins everyone have a sweet potato.......lol and mashed peas......
Posted by Troll
- September 19, 2015, 09:05:56 AMBARTENDER!. Set up a round of sweet potatoes for everybody, on ME!
Posted by CDNRatMan
- September 18, 2015, 23:28:09 PMDo miss his dry sense of humour and his outlook on life.......
Posted by greenbarn
- September 18, 2015, 22:34:40 PMQuote from: chief on September 18, 2015, 17:17:27 PMI was thinking the same thing the other day....I hope we will keep this joke post active forever. John started it, and it reminds me of him each time someone posts to it! Thanks!
Posted by chief
- September 18, 2015, 17:17:27 PMI hope we will keep this joke post active forever. John started it, and it reminds me of him each time someone posts to it! Thanks!
Posted by 49Reo
- September 15, 2015, 22:25:25 PMAN OLD WOMAN WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCHING POST.
AS SHE STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES, A YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER. THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER LOOKED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND LAUGHED, "HEY OLD WOMAN, HAVE YOU EVER DANCED?"
THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO,... I NEVER DID DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."
A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID "WELL, YOU OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD WOMAN'S FEET.
THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR -- NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF --STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING. WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.
THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.
THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR, AND THE CROWD STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.
THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS, TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING. THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.
THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A MULE'S ASS?"
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO M'AM... BUT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.
THERE ARE FIVE LESSONS HERE FOR ALL OF US:
1 - Never be arrogant.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always make sure you know who has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old people; they didn't get old by being stupid.
Posted by Troll
- September 15, 2015, 20:43:43 PMYou are lucky....
Posted by CDNRatMan
- September 15, 2015, 20:40:43 PMGood one but I am not current enough on American politics to understand it......
Posted by greenbarn
- September 15, 2015, 20:08:08 PMThat's a new twist on the ending... I like it... LOL