DEFCON Europe

[49Reo]

I heard today that as of January 01-15, that the Canadian Navy is cutting their fleet by 50%, and remaining crews by 50% as well. ....seems the captain is going to have to row and shoot at the same time.....

[chief]

Spot on!

[pcarrell]

Oh, that there is pure gold!

I sometimes play an online military tank game, and they recently added a new country's tanks......France.  Immediately the jokes started flying.  It's been said that all French tanks in the game come factory equipped with white flags and one forward gear, and three reverse gears.

[John Hopkins]

police-leaflets-tell-commuters-to-run-hide-and-tell-in-the-event-of-a-terror-attack
The police in London are handing out leaflets with the above advice printed on them.
I can imagine someone in a government office somewhere thinking this one up, you are packed like sardines in an underground train or packed in a bus or in a crowded street what should we advise. The people who decided this live in large houses in the country, they have bullet proof cars with drivers who double as bodyguards and never travel on public transport.

This prompted me to post this old joke.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the last final escalation level.

And as a final thought - Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC