Guiness book of records

[John Hopkins]

I think Bette Midler in Ruthless people when she was talking about her on screen husband Danny Devito probably described it best..

John.

[testpilot]

Were the measurements were taken by the Itty Bitty Titty Committee?

[CDNRatMan]

 oh good another member of the Stud Budgies Club, Welcome to the club....lol

[John Hopkins]

Taken directly from another forum..

3 blokes find out that they have 9 months to live. They realize that they have nothing to show for in their lives, so they each decide to try getting into the Guinness Book of World Records.

The first bloke says, "I have pretty long arms, maybe I have the longest arms in the world!"

The second bloke says, "I have a big chest, maybe I have the biggest chest in the world!"

The third bloke says, "I have a small dick, maybe I have the smallest dick in the world!"

So they each submit their applications to the Guinness Book of World Records headquarters.

A few months later, the book is published, and they all gather around to see the results.

The first bloke opens the book and says, "Hey look! I have the longest arms in the world!"

The second bloke looks and says "Wow! I can't believe I have the biggest chest in the world!"

And the third bloke looks and says, "...Who the @#$% is John Hopkins?!"